Wednesday, January 11, 2012

What are some other topics you'd like for me to talk about?

Please follow my blog and post any ideas you have about topics on marriage that I can research and talk about. I will do my very best to answer everyone's questions and talk about all the topics suggested. Thank you


Today I decided to put a list of things together that I enjoy doing for my husband. Some of you might be a relationship that has a few hardships, and if so, doing nice things for the other person is an awesome place to start. It can do amazing things for your relationship because it gets your mind off the little or sometimes big things, that you are upset about.
#1- Start off by seeing if there's anything you can do to help him get out the door in the morning. Sometimes there is allot of odds and ends stuff that they have to get together and it can add stress. So, a little help from you, can make a world of difference. Plus, the added benefit of more time with him:)
#2- Read the blessing over him if you believe in the Word of God, which I do. The particular blessing I'm talking about is found in Numbers 6:24-27. Reading and confessing the Word over him is a great thing to do and it will encourage him that he can do whatever God has for him to do.
#3-Make sure and say thank you for all the hard work he does. In my opinion, it takes courage on his part to go out and work every single day except Sunday just so that I can be at home with the kids. We have chosen to homeschool so we both "work" but I think its easier for me because I get to be home with the kids while he only has some evenings and the weekend with them usually. Whether or not you are in a similar situation as mine, its still important to say thank you .
#4- I like to do my very best to have the house clean and make it an inviting environment to come home to. Let's face it; somedays it is not in the plans to do any cleaning because life can get in the way of that, lol. However, for the most part, I really enjoy making the house clutter free. I also acknowledge that my idea of non cluttered and someone else's idea of non cluttered might be completely different, but it works for us.
#5-I also like to look nice and at least have some makeup on when he comes home:) This just makes both of us feel good, lol. I like looking  nice and he doesn't mind it either:) I have to say that there have been plenty of days when I don't have any makeup on and my hair is crazy and he never says a word, lol. He always tells me I look great no matter what. But I know when I look crazy, haha.
#6-When he mentions an idea to you that is different from what you were thinking, just give it a second to sink in. Hopefully you are in a marriage where both opinions matter and you both talk it out because Chip and I believe that is the healthiest way. I also think the reason its important to just give it a second before you start putting the idea down, is because I would want that same respect given to me. It's not fun to have an idea and before you are even done getting it out of your mouth, someone else is saying no to it. So, just show the same respect you would want.
#7-This is a big one and its also one that I don't always do, lol. I think that when your husband is talking with one of the kids and they are working something out; like if the one of the kids got in trouble for something, just let them talk. Remember that you and your husband are two different people and the way you do things might be different so just try to respect that. For instance, if Chip gets on to one of the kids, he talks to them and lets them know why he doesn't like what they did. Seriously, he's really calm with them. But I find myself listening off to side sometimes to make sure I agree with what he's saying, lol. And occasionally, I have intervened. Imagine that! When all is said and done, we talk to the kids pretty much the same and we enjoy seeing the results from communicating with the kids. For us, it works. It works even better when we respect each others decisions. It takes work sometimes but its totally worth it.
#8-Tell him he's handsome, cute or whatever term you would use:) I have a husband that looks amazing so its very easy to come up with things to say to him, lol. But on a serious note, everyone needs to hear they are attractive and desired. Whether you have been married for a year , 13 years, or 50 years, it doesn't matter. The need is still there. Just let him know that he's the only one you're looking at:)
#9-Send sweet little text messages to him during the day:) You never know what he might be dealing with at work and your text will make him smile. What you put in the text is up to you and I'd rather not give advice on that, lol.
#10-and last but not least, just never forget why you fell in love with him. I think too many people get sidetracked with money issues, parenting issues, jealousy issues, etc. and they lose sight of where their relationship actually started. Back when they were totally in love, couldn't keep their hands off each other, talking on the phone til 2 or 3 in the morning on a school night and not being able to wait to see that person the next day. You guys remember that , right? Just , love him.

If you think this type of thinking doesn't work, well, all I can say is that you'll never know if you don't try it. Trust me, if you have the type of husband I do, you'll get back just as much if not more than you are willing to give. Please let me know any thoughts you have on this.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

It's so surprising to me....

So, as my husband and I were watching the movie The Notebook the other night, it made me wonder how people can live without that kind of a love. How can people justify living a life where you are miserable every day of your life?
I've heard so many people say they are only in their marriage for the kids and all I can ever think is, Wow, do you have any idea what you are missing out on? See, I'm the kind of person that would say and has said, if you are having a problem in your marriage, God can restore it. He can make your love for each other brand new and make you wonder why you were ever unhappy. Now, with that being said, I know there are reasons to give someone the boot, such as abuse(verbal or physical) , cheating(if you can't work it out) , etc. but for the most part, the former is what I believe.
So, to those who say they are miserable in their marriage, just going with the flow, doing it for the kids, or anything else, I say, 'Wake up!Theres better for you and your marriage than merely existing!'
I also hate hearing the prior statements because I always think that the person must have given up on ever living the kind of life they want to live because they truly believe they can't change anything. So they wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, have some lame argument possibly, go to bed and start the whole thing over the next day. Really????
I believe in a marriage that is fun and exciting. I believe in two people so in love with each other that it doesn't matter who's around, they aren't afraid to hug or kiss each other. Don't you remember when you were dating? Why did it change after you got married? What obstacles got in the way and made you actually believe that you don't have a choice to get that back?
I also know that some of you may think I am a naive girl that doesn't know what I'm talking about. But I will tell you that , though that may be true concerning your particular situation , I can only testify to my own experience. No, we don't always agree. No, the first few years weren't blissful heaven and no, we don't like all the same things. But!!! We worked at it and today we are truly happy with each other and we have been married now for almost 14 years.
People told me that when I got married , that I didn't really know what love was about. They said that because I was only 17. So, I suppose they had a right to question how much I knew. But one thing I knew was that I loved Chip and still do.
Some people say that sometimes love just isn't enough. Well, I'm not so sure about that. I kinda think that love is everything you need. It covers a multitude of shortcomings and flaws that , trust me, both people in the marriage have, and it allows you to look beyond your feelings.
So, if you're in a happy marriage, awesome and keep it up! If you're not, then trust that there's hope . You don't have to live a life where you go without passion and fun. Trust. God has many ways of making all things better! Please post your comments if you have any:) I'd love to hear them.